Everyone has the right to change his individual behaviour, his believes, the way we understand ourselves. We are allowed to change all those arrangements giving an individual its Identity. Clan traditions have to come second. Formulated in UN language we could say: We have the right to change our identity, as long /as soon as we are able to do so.
But these Rights were created by a society of individuals, our western world. If we do not accept the behaviour, the mentality, the law of a group, we leave it as soon as we can. Or we try to change the group, we manipulate it in our sense.
From the very beginning of our life we learned who we are, what others expect us doing, saying, and believing. We want satisfy our parents, the clan, the village, the whole society. THEY give us the identity. Through THEIR EYES we know who we are. And THEY do not like us to change. Groups have strong ideas how its members have to behave.
We receive with birth a place in a group we have to conform to. Our parents decide for us who we will be. They decide this through their wishes, their hopes, and their fears. They want our best if they have foreseen a good place (boys), and they expect our submission, if our place has to be second (women).
Girls have to be kind, lovely, and helpful, boys have to become strong, able to take decisions and take responsibility for a family or a clan. They have to be willing to give their lives for the safety of the group.
This is the truth for the majority of our humanity. For those living in hard economic conditions, the group’s opinions becomes more important than the own choice. We accept to remain in hard conditions to sustain family members. Often we are not aware of any choice, the personal preference is killed by the inner soul manager before it becomes a conscious idea.
The freedom of identity, the freedom of self reflected, self chosen decisions concerning our life is in most cases directly depending of the economic dependency from a group allowing this freedom. I think at women living in poor countries, and also at women living in clans with strongly prescripted life patterns. Most of the time then they have not much choice to change things against the group’s hopes and fears. They have more or less to submit.
If you insist for a change, you have to leave them. You have to leave your family, maybe even your country.
And here comes the ugliest part of our behaviour with refugees: we exclude people not only wanting economic changes, but we exclude also persons having the desire to realise other life patterns than allowed by their original group.