Genesis 1 for atheists

Published on Humorality.com, Sept. 14, 2009.

Linked with Humorality.com.

  • 1 In the beginning nothing created the heavens and the earth.
  • 2 Now the nothing was dark and void; it was really nothing. But then there was something hovering right in the middle of it. How about that!
  • 3 And there was a really big bang, and then there was light.
  • 4 The light was really, really bright. The big bang separated the light from the nothing.
  • 5 The light was called “universe,” and the nothing was forgotten, because if anyone knew about the nothing, they’d never believe any of this. And there was evening, and there was morning—well, not yet.
  • 6 And a planet formed at just the right distance from an average star. And the planet was good—very good. It was a rare planet where something interesting might happen.
  • 7 And an expanse of water formed on the planet. And if you have water, you might as well just admit that you have life. Ever hear of Mars?
  • 8 The water was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—but if no one was there to see the sunrise, did it really happen?
  • 9 And the elements were gathered to once place, and they combined in new ways, randomly, inexplicably.
  • 10 The elements begat biomolecules, which begat amino acids and phospholipids, which begat nucleotides and lipid bilayers, which begat RNA and mRNA, which begat ribosomes, which begat proteins, which begat fully-programmed cells with three meters of DNA folded neatly inside a microscopic nucleus with its own mitochondrial power supply. Things like this just seem to happen.

… (full text 11 to 31).

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