Drone Alone

Published on Dissident Voice, by Terry Phyde, January 6, 2013.

… 30,000 drones — mostly unarmed, just for surveillance (oh, thank heavens!) — supposed to be buzzing all over the continent by 2020. I mean, like, golly! I’m already surveyed out the wazzooga. What the hell do they want from my life? Make sure I get home okay before the gun-toting psycho-freaks (soon to have air-strike capability) proliferate towards midnight (note: I’m obviously referring to a criminal element, but which sort and on whose payroll)?  

Never-mind the surveillance, think of the clutter. Air-traffic control’s gonna be a night-mare. People wanted to shoot geese for clogging up jet engines a few years back…these contraptions are gonna be zipping around commercial air-liners like gnats

And on some distant jumbo-jet, Boobus Americanus will snap photos of the beautiful drone-filled sky at sunset, his combination digicam-phone-word-processor-urinal pressed against the porthole and his fat ass pushing Ms. Americanus out into the aisle…

Meanwhile, beyond the stratosphere, amid Carl Sagan’s billions and billions of stars, is the cold-war junk of thousands and thousands of Soviet and American satellites, not to mention the “live” ones photographing these words as I type them (gee, wonder how the new surveillance drones’ll top that?)

Junk, junk and more junk. Well, hell, the land and water’s already sclerotic with detritus and putrid glop, might as well clutter up the skies…

Of course the first thing they’ll do with these DIY drones is regulate them, so only “law enforcement” hobbyists, purchasing state-of-the-art drones from legitimate, government-contracted corporations, can use them to smoke “bad guys.” Then they’ll de-regulate the corporate drone-makers so they can fill the back-ordered requests of every Fuhrer and flat-foot from the Mayor of NYC to Sheriff Mayberry and Deputy Fife…

“30,000 drones by 2020.” Who thought that one up, Wordsworth? Count every grain of sand on Pismo beach (wherever that is; I think I heard it referred to in a Bugs Bunny cartoon; I dunno, all this data’s got me dizzy as a drone programmed with palindromes), if you’ve the time and inclination, and multiply the total by ten, fifteen, twenty. Then attach to the sum the word “drones.”

Hasta la vista, la humanidad!

I’m droning home.

(full text).

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