The country doesn’t need well-meaning white people to defend it, it needs to listen to the voices of Indian women – Published on The Guardian, by Sunny Hundal, Jan 3, 2013.
… Most Indians bristle at the accusation that Indian culture doesn’t value women. In fact, they say, it extols the virtues of womanhood and their role in society. It puts women on a pedestal, and even goes as far as describing nature and the world we live in as “mother Earth”, and “mother India”. Indians elected a woman prime minister, Indira Gandhi, as early as 1966, and the country boasts several prominent female chief ministers, philosophers, scholars, sports icons and writers. During one very popular Indian festival, Rakhi, brothers pledge to protect their sisters for life. Hindu mythology, which is dominant in Indian culture, is full of tales of kings moving heaven and earth to rescue damsels in distress.
But these symbols provide a convenient facade behind which there is endemic violence ingrained in Indian culture. They are part of the lie that Indian women cannot have it so bad, because they are revered. In fact, the opposite is true. In traditional Indian culture, girls are groomed to be good wives, not independent women with their own careers. Traditional values say women are only important not in their own right, but because they produce children and preserve culture.
This mentality leads families to treat them as objects who should remain pure and be controlled: women are their fathers’ property, and later their husbands’. Parents worry so much about “losing face” in the community that while boys have all the freedom they want, girls are constantly advised not to do anything that would “bring shame”. This mentality explains why so many are forced into marriages, or even murdered by their own parents. It leads to mothers excusing away the heinous crimes of their sons by saying: “If these girls roam around openly like this, then the boys will make mistakes.”
In Bollywood films, men routinely chase and harass women. As SA Aiyar points out in the Times of India, old-time villain Ranjeet did close to 100 rape scenes, “with the audience almost cheering him on”. The message from Bollywood is almost always that if you harass a woman enough, “no matter how often she says no, she’ll ultimately say yes”.
The gang rape and murder of the Delhi student wasn’t an isolated incident. Reading the descriptions by Indian women of how they live in fear should make anyone worry deeply about the twisted beast that Indian culture has become. Most of all it should make my kind – men of Indian origin – sit up and ask: how did we get here? The epidemic of violence is obviously not good for women, but doesn’t it also say something about the state of mind of Indian men that such crimes are on the increase?
Violence against women is a cultural problem. It is culture that leads to a country’s laws, and culture that discourages or encourages this violence. So why isn’t there a national debate about the social impact of 100 million missing women? There is a tendency to sweep this under the carpet, not just by Indians but even some westerners fearful of sounding racist. Emer O’Toole’s article on Tuesday was a classic example of this genre, going as far as praising Indian politicians for their response, even though most protesters were criticising them for their inaction and insensitivity. That was compounded by an attempt to blame colonialism for the lack of rights and social provision for women, but the problem isn’t lack of money (India spends billions on nukes and a space programme), but different priorities by a male-dominated parliament where many have charges of assault against women pending.
India doesn’t need well-meaning white people to defend it, it needs to listen to the voices of Indian women. We can accept that women are groped, molested, assaulted and raped across nearly every part of the world, without pretending there aren’t local differences in attitudes and social provisions. The founder of Jagori, a Delhi-based women’s NGO, told the Times of India that though there was growing awareness and reporting of sexual violence, men “are not able to accept” women’s increasing assertiveness and “use heinous ways to punish them”. India is full of brave, independent female icons, but they have succeeded despite cultural norms – not because it encourages them to be independent. This epidemic won’t end until this mentality is challenged to its core.
(My comment: during my stage 2006 in Mumbai, I asked my friend: does women have also other roles than love-roles in Indian films? His answer, short and firm: No.
Now my question: how do you will change this mentality if a whole nation can imagine women acceptable only in love-like situations?).
Links to related articles in The Guardian:
India gang-rape victim was left lying in street for an hour: Friend of dead woman who was assaulted with her describes police delays and passers-by doing nothing to help;
… // …
Video: Delhi gang-rape victim’s father demands death penalty, 1.32 min;
Video: Indian women vandalise Mumbai bar over ‘rapist’ cocktail-video, 1.19 min;
India gang-rape protests in pictures: After the death of a student who was gang-raped by six men and thrown from a moving bus in Delhi, protesters and mourners take to the streets in India to demand greater protection for women from sexual violence
India to name and shame sex offenders as rape protests grow: Government makes bold move after criticism it is out of touch and ignored public revulsion over violence against women;
India: hundreds of men accused of sexual violence stand in elections: Figures show dozens facing criminal investigations for assault and other charges campaigning for national assembly;
Delhi gang-rape: look westward in disgust: The coverage of Damini’s death strikes a particularly ironic note following recent media controversy over a rape in Ohio;
Delhi gang-rape: in India, anger is overtaking fear: The death of ‘Damini’ revealed to India that its much-vaunted modernity is nothing without equality for women;
After the death of the Delhi rape victim, the fight for women’s rights must go on: The collective outrage galvanised by the Delhi rape can help make visible a wider spectrum of sexual violence in India;
A clash of two cultures as women are left out of India’s bright new future: The horrific Delhi gang rape reveals a painfully divided society;
Helen Pidd: Why is India so bad for women? Of all the rich G20 nations, India has been labelled the worst place to be a woman. But how is this possible in a country that prides itself on being the world’s largest democracy?
The worst places in the world for women: India – Being the main breadwinner in an extended, poor family puts huge pressure on a maid in a wealthy household in the Indian capital;
More relates articles in the middle-right column of this page: More on this story.